Millennial Nostalgia, sadness and hope within the darkness
Part Two
These lyrics definitely encapsulate the safety I feel, when the titles of this precious show appears on any television screen:
Ah Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls. Gilmore Girls.
Like I said in Part One, there are few shows that make me feel as safe and seen as this one does. Gilmore Girls is the show of all shows that I will rewatch on yearly basis, and that I will still continually love more than anything. But in saying that, I have had a joyful realization over the last few days because I was able to experience this universal joy offline and in person.
When my friend informed me that the Dublin International Film Festival were having a competition for tickets for a special screening of Gilmore Girls, well I was in. I was even more in when apparently as part of the entry to said competition, we got to vote on what episodes they would get to screen.
I chose the pilot episode, season 4 episode 21 “Last Week Fights, This Week Tights” and season 5 episode 13, “Wedding Bell Blues”.
Hey, I was half right in my choices because the pilot episode was one of the selected, and also to my surprise the other episode chosen was “You Jump, I Jump, Jack.”
Despite these contrasting choices I was excited, because my friend had won tickets and she kindly asked me to join her for the screening. I didn’t even have to think twice.
This of course was no easy feat, because I do get major anxiety re public transport and with being overwhelmed with crowds, but still without question I agreed to this. Just like I would do that for family, friends, Taylor Swift and of course, Gilmore Girls.
It also helped that it was perfectly timed as it wasn’t that long since I had finished my annual rewatch of Gilmore Girls, which was of January this year. I was also still over the moon at the mini reunion that occurred in November, even if it was under the guise of gross capitalism.
But I couldn’t deny that it was just the boost of serotonin that I needed. These little clips gave me hope in the horror of horrors that was and is our world.
Just knowing at least that Luke and Lorelai are still happily married and making jibes about coffee to each other, well is everything.
But it still doesn’t stop people from constantly asking me; “exactly what is the appeal of Gilmore Girls?”, “Why oh why, do you want to watch the same show again and again?” and “Isn’t it boring to watch the same characters go through the same arcs again and again?”
No.
“But don’t you want to watch this super, depressing Emmy nominated show that’s only available on a specific streaming service, and it only comes back every two years if you’re lucky, and have to concentrate on every second of said hourly episode of this, or you will miss something vital, instead?”
No.
(I don’t count Succession in my above jibe, because that was one of the last good, modern shows in this new era of television, we are in.).
I could go further into my rant about the two-year gaps in between the seasons of many popular television series that are out at the moment. How this decision and delay has removed the fun that comes with fandom, television and the collective watching experience, that only previous shows from decades ago seemed to provide, but what’s the point. Really the main point I am getting at is Gilmore Girls like Gossip Girl is reminiscent of that time of television.
Even if that is to its detriment.
I do recognize that this show is of it’s time, that it’s a very white, straight and an idolized version of America. Like many shows from that time period, lacking in so many forms of representation.
But I do see some things coded within the show as well. When I say coded as much as a show like this could code something during the 2000s.
Although some of you may disagree with me, I see a lot of myself in Lorelai Gilmore. I am not saying she is Autistic or neurodivergent or was written that way. But her quirkiness, her outbursts, her constant references, being misunderstood by those around her and how she lamented that she felt like the weird child during her school years. Well as strange as it sounds, this is very representative of what a lot of people with Autism’s experiences as child and as an adult trying so hard to fit in but failing in every instance, sometimes masking/entertaining and using humour to diffuse the situations. However I do acknowledge, the big difference between Lorelai and I she had a lot of very attractive, romantic interests - me, not so much. But she found her own community in Stars Hollow because they embraced her for who she is(most of the time) and not what society for most part expected her to be.
Simply said I love Lorelai Gilmore, and not long before my Autism diagnosis, I realized in many senses I am Lorelai.
Which was jarring considering when I first accidentally discovered the show on RTE1 in the early 2000s, it was quiet bookish Rory I adored.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t proud of her when she slept with Dean who was married man at the time. He should have known better, but Rory should’ve too. However, she was 19, her immaturity very evident when she moved into Yale, and unfortunately even early on in season four, you can see the building blocks to her downfall. Her feeling of being lost and longing for peace instead of partying in college (initially) was something that was leading to that season four finale. But ignoring that, Rory’s first year in Yale was something I deeply related to.
I also think it was inevitable that she was going to make big mistakes and suffer consequences for it. But I do find re fandom discussions with shows that it seems to be all or nothing, while I believe it’s possible to condone someone’s actions, but not outright be done with them even if they are fictional characters.
I say this within reason, all too aware of the disaster of the revival, but before that I did love Rory Gilmore.
I also adore Richard and Emily, even as complicated and flawed as they were, they loved their daughter and granddaughter.
So with all of that, it’s no wonder my love for this show endured.
That was very apparent for me and my friend on Sunday.
What I enjoyed most about the 25th anniversary celebration of the show was a lot of these feelings were universal.
We all gathered in excitement to watch the pilot and cheered when it came on, and it was so wonderfully strange that there was so much communal energy over this.
I was used to it being mostly a singular experience for me. Occasionally I would chat online with friends over Gilmore Girls related content, but for most part it was just me watching the show alone for the one thousandth time. Sometimes dragging my brother, sister, parents or whoever happened to be in the house at the time along for the ride.
But watching the same pilot episode in the cinema alongside my friend and fellow fans was something different and magical.
Hearing laughter echo throughout the cinema, with me and my friend turning to each other smiling and nodding at certain things that we both reacted and happened to see at the same time.
Then there was applause, then a panel with a lot of interesting points of view.
My favourite moment was when they asked the audience for their opinions, and they were the most fascinating to me. There was a consensus that Luke and Jess reign supreme as romantic interests for Lorelai and Rory, but there was still a lot of strong love for Max and Logan.
I also felt a little for that one person who bravely put there hand up as a fan of Dean. They owned their choice that he was the ultimate romantic interest for Rory.
Just like the person behind me who believed Digger was awesome, because he loved having separate rooms to sleep in and you know what, I see that, and I would get that.
But heart of all hearts, it’s always Luke for me. The way he sees Lorelai before she’s able or ready to see herself. The way Lorelai sees Luke and is never put off by his loner exterior, that to me is sweet, real love.
Jess might be the fantasy, but hey, we all deserve a little fantasy.
I also loved that some, like me, also believed that if the show aired today, that Paris Geller would’ve been a Queer character. So many thoughts on this show were brought to life in person as opposed as to me scrolling and rambling on my laptop.
During the break between episodes, we saw fellow fans walking around the cinema, some even dressed as Luke Danes with a backwards cap, plaid shirt and all. We talked to one fan going back into screen about her experiences with the show. She talked about how she rewatched the show during Covid and when she was diagnosed with cancer, and how during that time, Gilmore Girls helped her feel less alone.
I blurted in my awkward way, which is something that occurs when I struggle with small talk and meeting strangers anywhere, but at this event, it really didn’t feel too bad. But anyway, I jumped in with the fact that this show is “a comfort watch” and she turned around smiled at me saying; “yeah exactly.”
That is the truth though, Gilmore Girls is a comfort show for so many of us, a female perspective and one that still gives validation towards women who don’t fit the norm. Whether it’s through Lorelai and her later in life strives in her career, not getting married till much later in life or being a teen mom. Then there’s Rory, who I have many issues within the revival, but her arc of being unemployed in your 30s and being forced to move back in with her mom is an undeniable, and relatable story.
It also never shied away from continuously showing the faults of our beloved Gilmore Girls. I remember one discussion on the panel contained frustration over Lorelai and her choices especially surrounding her treatment of Max, and she does make horrific decisions regarding her fiancé. While many agreed that her actions were selfish, someone else responded that while this behaviour was poor, it’s also part of the reason why we like Lorelai. Lorelai and Rory are flawed, they have moments of selfishness, they make big mistakes when in pain or fear, and that’s what makes them feel so real.
To me Lorelai and Rory feel real, and when Rory makes that big mistake at 19 or 21, I am disappointed but don’t judge her too harshly. Rory was overly mature as a teenager in some senses and when she faced the real world, she got some rude awakenings and had to live with consequences of her decisions, and she did.
But it still didn’t stop people sending me hate for defending a 19-year-old Rory, which I find hilarious, but anyways. I still don’t defend Rory in her thirties btw, she should know better regarding having an affair again, but anyway the revival felt quite off in general.
Back to the film festival, for the final instalment of Gilmore Girls festivities we watched the “You Jump, I Jump, Jack”. Despite me not initially being a huge Logan fan, I forgot how much I enjoyed this episode because of how much I want to protect Luke throughout. But it was the fastest episode ever because before I knew it was over, and I found myself hugging my friend goodbye and on my way, to catch the train home.
But with that and to be cliché I went home tired but happy, happy in a way I haven’t felt in sometime.
But that happiness left me with some ponderings regarding millennial nostalgia and how much hope it can give us. But also, why I am still struggling to find a show, that is nearly an exact equivalent of the feeling that Gilmore Girls continuously gives me.
I don’t think I ever will in this climate and that’s ok.
But it also highlights why Gilmore Girls still endures 25 years on.
So, I’m grateful for the joy I experienced from the 25th celebrations and how it gave me some escapism from whatever reality some evil, insecure man has thrust us all into.
But I knew I was going to be ok, because I was going to get through this existential dread and anxiety. Why? Because I knew I would always have my millennial nostalgia, and with that I can always return to my little corner of the world, even just, for a little bit.